Letter to the Editor

Dear Bean Patch Editorial Department:

This is getting a little ridiculous. I understand you're busy people, but this is just way too long without any information about our favorite star. I understand that often "no news is good news", but we fans need more information! Anything would be helpful.

On behalf of the growing number of Jellybean fans out there, please re-task your tireless team of reporters and let us know what's happening.

With appreciation,
A Frustrated Fan

Jellybean's "Ride" Inspected, May Appear in MTV Show

Publicists for the hit MTV show Pimp My Ride today intimated they were in talks with the Jellybean to star in an upcoming episode of the show. Nothing appears to be finalized, but there were reports the Jellybean's new "ride" was spotted being inspected by producers behind a police station in Washington, DC. The Jellybean herself did not appear to be present, but her parents/co-agents seemed intently engaged with the show's representative.

Still, industry observers were pessimistic a deal could be struck. "Given Britney Spears disastrous appearance this past week on MTV, I seriously doubt the Jellybean's advisors are going to elect to have her appear on the network," one pundit noted. "It just doesn't convey the message they want. The Jellybean wants to appeal to fans of all ages, and MTV is too focused on a younger age group." Still, it's smart to explore options. After all, you don't need to be a star like the Jellybean to go through the inspection process; any person (regardless of DC residency) can take advantage of the opportunity. "I have no comment other than to say it was a great meeting," the Jellybean's father/co-agent said on leaving. "I'd encourage people to drop by and see whether it's something they might like to do."

Jellybean Excited as Rumors of New Star in Baltimore Surface

Over this past Labor Day weekend, rumors surfaced that the Jellybean will not be the only big area debut over the course of the next twelve months. The Bean Patch has credible reports a new budding star (who has yet to be named or secure representation) will also debut next spring in Baltimore. There are few specifics but industry reaction was swift. "It was only a matter of time before more stars arrived in this market. With the Jellybean's early success, it would be more surprising if others didn't follow," one industry observer commented.

Still, others in the industry believe this news may not be entirely unconnected to the Jellybean's group of insiders and believe some of her own team may be associated with this new career launch. In fact, some believe there may be an indirect familial connection between the two stars, though details are sketchy. A source close to the Jellybean speaking on the condition of anonymity indicated, "I don't want to confirm or deny any rumors out there, but I'd say we at Camp Jellybean are excited about the prospect of another star on the scene." When asked whether this new star might be related to the Jellybean, our source responded slyly, "I'm refusing to comment because in this case it's best to keep secrets secret." (Or was that "...be cousin this case..."?) The Bean Patch will continue to investigate.

Anonymous Photo Released, Sparks Debate

In a surprising and curious development yesterday, the Bean Patch received an unmarked package marked on front with simply "Jellybean" and containing the attached picture. The photo appears to be of an unidentified woman's torso. Our own photo experts have carefully analyzed the photo and conclude it's impossible for the person pictured to be the Jellybean herself; still, they caution jumping to conclusions too quickly. It's clear the package was sent for a reason.

One celebrity sleuth, who has come under fire recently as somewhat of a conspiracy theorist, had a different assessment. "There's something fishy here. We haven't seen any photos of the Jellybean and suddenly we get this photo. I think there's more to this than we think. It's just a hunch, but I think the Jellybean's in that picture somewhere." His comments were quickly dismissed. "She's in the picture somewhere?" a senior photo analyst remarked. "Where? I think we should leave the picture analysis to the experts. There's one person in the photo and from an age standpoint, there's no way that's the Jellybean." If nothing else, the photo is sure to spark conversation from water coolers to professional media pundits.

Jellybean's Mother/Co-Agent: She's "Going to be Huge"

In some of the most candid comments to date, the Jellybean's mother/co-agent gave her own new optimistic evaluation of the young star and her fall debut. "Unlike other advisors to the Jellybean, I feel I truly carry the weight of this young star's budding career," she told her interviewer. "I know her talent coaches have said she's progressing as she should be - and I don't pretend to be as knowledgeable about these things as I know they are - but, in my opinion, I have a feeling the Jellybean's going to be huge."

Other industry observers were more guarded in their evaluation. "Obviously, I haven't met or advised the Jellybean," one observer remarked, "but I think it's natural for a mother to think her daughter's career is going to be big. After all, as enthusiasm concerning the Jellybean's debut grows, her mother (and in this case her co-agent) will certainly feel building pressure. She is under the spotlight as well, and the gravity of the Jellybean's promising career is on her shoulders. In fact, I've heard some agents even become nauseous in anticipation of a client's debut." The Jellybean's mother/agent responded. "I'm a professional and have not been nauseous or anything like that. Sure, I've had some trouble sleeping recently, but I think that's understandable for anyone involved in a career launch like this." On a related note, the Jellybean's father and other co-agent reports to be sleeping fine.

Fans Disappointed as Local Stars Traded to New York

Although expected for some months, this week witnessed the inevitable trade of two local budding talents - brother and sister team Greta and Lincoln Merrill - to an established franchise near New York City. "It's the nature of the business," one local commentator added. "You get really attached to these local celebrities, and then you find them whisked away to a new city. It often leaves a tangible void behind."

Some have inferred the Merrills' departure may somehow be related to the Jellybean's imminent arrival later this year, but industry observers deny it. "Completely unrelated" was the assessment. "D.C. would definitely be big enough for all three of them, but sometimes change is necessary. We hate to see them go, but often talented people are going to be more successful playing on a new team which can really showcase their talents. We wish them the best." Although packed and departing later this week, the Bean Patch feels confident this is hardly the last we've heard of Greta and Lincoln.

Jellybean's Agents Dodge Paparazzi Citing "Weather Problems"

Reports of the Jellybean's attending a wedding in Seattle this past weekend were quickly picked up by the paparazzi, and several east coast airports were swarmed with rabid photographers trying to catch a photo of the young starlet. The strategy was to track the Jellybean's two parents/agents in the hope that where they were, the Jellybean would not be too far behind.

However, it appears her agents are not as verdant as they may appear. In an unexpected move, the Jellybean's father got off his plane bound from Portland, ME to Philadelphia and returned to the site of several "Jellybean Summits" in Maine, while her mother spent several hours in another plane on the runway in Philadelphia trying to give the paparazzi the slip. The result: another failed attempt to catch our young celebrity on film. Though both agents deny any ruse taking place and instead cite "weather problems", industry insiders are unconvinced. "There's a line of photographers at the airport, and then they magically have plane troubles," one insider remarked. "Let's be serious, folks. This is clearly part of a strategy to keep the Jellybean off the front page." At least for now, it appears to have worked.

Bean Patch Updates Look, Stresses Continuity

In a bold redesign of its layout, the Bean Patch introduced a new look to its readers this morning. At a black-tie unveiling party last night, the editor-in-chief beamed with pride. "The Bean Patch is the preeminent source for all things Jellybean, and it's time our publication reflected the modern, fashionable look which people have come to expect from the Jellybean herself." When asked whether there would be other changes, he added, "we will continue to bring our readers the same professionalism that has always been associated with the Bean Patch. We're new and improved, but readers should feel confident we will continue to deliver the same personal touch they've come to expect."

Rumors of Jellybean Debut Date Emerge as Advisors Again Meet

On the heels of a weekend of shopping and another positive career evaluation from her hired team of talent coaches, the Jellybean again headed north to Maine last week for what was nicknamed "Jellybean Summit Two." As one might expect, the substance of the meetings between the Jellybean, her agents and assorted other advisors has been kept closely guarded, but the Bean Patch has learned through credible reports that the group did set November 17th of this year as a tentative date for the star's debut to the public.

"If you think that date's firm, you're fooling yourself," says one industry insider. "Stars like the Jellybean like to keep her public guessing. She wants to give her fans a date to which they can look forward, but, in my experience, young stars rarely keep to that kind of schedule." One fan substantiated those comments. "I don't care when she arrives as long as it's soon. For right now, I'm just circling November 17th on my calendar and hoping for the best."

Again Jellybean Meets Coaches, Begins Shopping

Sometimes a certain amount of mundane repetition can be a good thing. On Friday, the Jellybean again met with her talent coaches, and, once again, they pronounced her career as progressing well. "Regular contact with talent coaches helps ensure a career fully realizes its potential," says the Bean Patch's entertainment correspondent. "I won't say it's never been done, but it certainly is difficult to launch a career successfully without top-flight talent coaches to really guide you through the whole process. The Jellybean has some of the best."

Armed with this new positive evaluation, the Jellybean continued to settle herself down in the DC area. While eyewitness accounts are scarce, credible reports have surfaced that she spent most of the past weekend furniture shopping. From what we have learned, purchases seem to have centered on a bed and other assorted bedroom furniture. "Don't get the wrong idea," one insider warned. "She may be looking for a place to lay her head, but I don't think she'll be having too many restful nights once she makes her debut."