Former Jellybean Critic Withdraws Criticism, Supports Star

As public excitement builds around the Jellybean's ensuing debut, one of her few detractors, an industry insider named Phil Turm, made a significant reversal early Saturday morning. "Some stars speed up their schedule and end up debuting to the public prematurely," Turm announced in a prepared statement. "Last week when rumors surfaced the Jellybean might move her date up, I was worried she too might debut prematurely. However, as of this morning, I want to officially retract any criticisms I may have made and announce my confidence that the Jellybean has had a full and complete development process from an industry standpoint."

This critic's comments mark a somewhat ersatz accomplishment for those associated with the Jellybean. Many big stars have debuted "early" according to industry norms and had stunningly successful careers. In fact, a recent study indicated that nearly one in eight stars make a premature debut; still, those in Camp Jellybean were happy with the news. A spokesman: "we're excited Turm is satisfied, but we're now looking forward to a successful debut."

Rumors Surface Jellybean's Debut Could Be Early

Reports emerged yesterday that the Jellybean may, in fact, speed up her debut date although it appears no firm plans have been made. The Jellybean and her co-agents met with her talent coach yesterday and were told her career development may be progressing ahead of schedule. Lightfoote, the Jellybean's respected talent coach, was also cautious about monitoring the blood pressure of her co-agents (particularly the Jellybean's mother) as some agents find their blood pressure rises dramatically before a star's debut.

Reaction was swift. "There's no need to be worried about anything," one commentator remarked. "This process is pretty routine, but you want to be careful with a career launch such as this." Several experts also commented that young stars often can appear to be ready for their debut early but remain on their original timetable. "Whether the debut happens today, tomorrow or four weeks from now, it's important to be prepared and these people seem prepared." Regardless of the schedule, the Jellybean's adoring public is eagerly awaiting her arrival.

Jellybean's Agents' Attendance of Classes Generates Controversy

As the Jellybean's debut date draws near, reports surfaced over the weekend that her co-agents were observed attending several classes over the past several weeks in preparation for her big day. Critics immediately suggested attendance of these classes showed the Jellybean's agents might be ill-prepared for representing a star of her stature, but others were quick to suggest otherwise. One entertainment pundit strongly defended their actions: "We all know the Jellybean's agents are new to this, but attending a few classes is simply the sign of a group who wants to be prepared. No matter how many marathons you run, you have to train for each one. I'd be critical if they weren't taking classes and preparing themselves. Their actions should be praised, not criticized."

The specifics of these classes were not released to the public but rumors are that one centered on the labor associated with delivering a star to the public and included a walk-through of how the Jellybean's debut will take place. Another class concentrated more on nursing the Jellybean's career once the debut has happened. The Bean Patch will continue to investigate.

Jellybean Hires Career Coach, Agents Say

In a press conference last night, the Jellybean's co-agents announced they had retained a new career coach for the Jellybean. This new coach, a highly-regarded woman named Van Vleck, works out of an organization called Spring Valley Pediatrics. The Jellybean's father and co-agent praised the organization and revealed he had spent much of his early years working closely with this same group. "I know my career was never as promising as the Jellybean's, but I spent my youth with this same group of career coaches and had a very positive experience. If they were good enough for me, they will do a fine job for the Jellybean."

Both co-agents emphasized this new hiring had nothing to do with the ongoing relationship with the Jellybean's talent coaches. "Talent coaching and career coaching are two very different areas of expertise," our industry observer commented. "Lightfoote and her partners [the Jellybean's current talent coaches] are critical to this star's debut. Still, after the debut is done, you'll see their role transition to advising more the Jellybean's agents and less the Jellybean herself. In particular, I expect the Jellybean's co-agent/mother to have an ongoing relationship with Lightfoote." Regardless of how the specifics work out, it is clear the Jellybean continues to amass a formidable group of advisors.

More Pre-launch Party Photos Released

A day after reporting on the Jellybean's pre-launch celebration, more photos from the party hit the internet this morning. These exclusive insider photos were courtesy of HPJ Photography Ltd and not AKJ Photograhy as originally reported. HPJ is a renowned DC area photographer who has contributed pictures of local DC talent to several other publications and the Bean Patch considers itself lucky to have HPJ part of its team.

As you can see from these newest photos, AKJ-MSC Designs appears to have outdone themselves in the party preparation. With the added publicity of throwing such a well-received event for the Jellybean, we are sure they will be called on for many more high-society functions in the future. All intereviewed guests agreed the event was a complete success.

Jellybean's Inner Circle Celebrates at Pre-launch Party

As the Jellybean's debut date draws near, many in her inner circle broke from their preparations to convene at an elegant pre-launch party thrown by AKJ-MSC Designs in suburban DC on Sunday. Several of the paparazzi were stationed outside the party snapping photos as guests arrived, but the Bean Patch was able to obtain exclusive photos from inside the party courtesy of AKJ Photography. Yet again, the Jellybean herself seems to have avoided any photos and there were conflicting reports whether she was actually at the party at all.

Although celebration was the primary purpose of the get together, guests inevitably spent much of their time discussing the Jellybean's health, exercise regimen and, of course, fashion. Several guests arrived with prospective outfits for the Jellybean and the Jellybean's mother/co-agent quickly became the center of the party as she went through examining closely all of the guests' excellent suggestions for the Jellybean. With advisors like these, it's clear the Jellybean will be at the center of the DC fashion scene.

On a related note, the Jellybean's father and other co-agent was spotted hosting another local star, J. J. Mershon. Jack (as he is known by his close friends) spent much of the afternoon inspecting the Jellybean's residence and pointing out particularly dangerous items around the house which needed attention. After the visit, Jack could not be reached for comment but appeared excited at the prospect of a new star on the DC scene. Clearly, he is not alone in his enthusiasm.

Amid Cover-up Accusations, Bean Patch Celebrates Their Own

After several weeks of hiatus and numerous accusations of cover-ups, the Bean Patch again returned to the reporting scene this morning. The editor-in-chief commented last night: "The Bean Patch needs to take vacations. That's all this was. Any accusations of impropriety by this publication or any of our reporters are completely ridiculous."

The Bean Patch did confirm that part of their break was taken up in observing the passing of one of their premier contributors. On September 29th, highly lauded cultural observer Ajax apparently passed away at his home in Washington, DC. Ajax was always known as the silent, cerebral type and generally contributed to stories ranging from environmental and nature issues to occasional reports on food, exercise and sleep matters. He has made several special reports on canine medical issues and was a fellow at the ASPCA specializing in the protection of (rubber?) ducks. One of his more whimsical reports came on an in-depth exploration of the manufacture of facial tissues.

"The Bean Patch lost a true friend last week," the editor-in-chief remarked last night. "Ajax will be truly missed by all of us - readers and reporters alike. Still, the greatest tribute to him is for us to continue to report the news accurately and fairly. We've got a star's debut on which to report. Let's get back to work." Indeed, a host of Jellybean fans eagerly await.

Letter to the Editor

Dear Bean Patch Editorial Department:

This is getting a little ridiculous. I understand you're busy people, but this is just way too long without any information about our favorite star. I understand that often "no news is good news", but we fans need more information! Anything would be helpful.

On behalf of the growing number of Jellybean fans out there, please re-task your tireless team of reporters and let us know what's happening.

With appreciation,
A Frustrated Fan

Jellybean's "Ride" Inspected, May Appear in MTV Show

Publicists for the hit MTV show Pimp My Ride today intimated they were in talks with the Jellybean to star in an upcoming episode of the show. Nothing appears to be finalized, but there were reports the Jellybean's new "ride" was spotted being inspected by producers behind a police station in Washington, DC. The Jellybean herself did not appear to be present, but her parents/co-agents seemed intently engaged with the show's representative.

Still, industry observers were pessimistic a deal could be struck. "Given Britney Spears disastrous appearance this past week on MTV, I seriously doubt the Jellybean's advisors are going to elect to have her appear on the network," one pundit noted. "It just doesn't convey the message they want. The Jellybean wants to appeal to fans of all ages, and MTV is too focused on a younger age group." Still, it's smart to explore options. After all, you don't need to be a star like the Jellybean to go through the inspection process; any person (regardless of DC residency) can take advantage of the opportunity. "I have no comment other than to say it was a great meeting," the Jellybean's father/co-agent said on leaving. "I'd encourage people to drop by and see whether it's something they might like to do."

Jellybean Excited as Rumors of New Star in Baltimore Surface

Over this past Labor Day weekend, rumors surfaced that the Jellybean will not be the only big area debut over the course of the next twelve months. The Bean Patch has credible reports a new budding star (who has yet to be named or secure representation) will also debut next spring in Baltimore. There are few specifics but industry reaction was swift. "It was only a matter of time before more stars arrived in this market. With the Jellybean's early success, it would be more surprising if others didn't follow," one industry observer commented.

Still, others in the industry believe this news may not be entirely unconnected to the Jellybean's group of insiders and believe some of her own team may be associated with this new career launch. In fact, some believe there may be an indirect familial connection between the two stars, though details are sketchy. A source close to the Jellybean speaking on the condition of anonymity indicated, "I don't want to confirm or deny any rumors out there, but I'd say we at Camp Jellybean are excited about the prospect of another star on the scene." When asked whether this new star might be related to the Jellybean, our source responded slyly, "I'm refusing to comment because in this case it's best to keep secrets secret." (Or was that "...be cousin this case..."?) The Bean Patch will continue to investigate.