Amid Cover-up Accusations, Bean Patch Celebrates Their Own

After several weeks of hiatus and numerous accusations of cover-ups, the Bean Patch again returned to the reporting scene this morning. The editor-in-chief commented last night: "The Bean Patch needs to take vacations. That's all this was. Any accusations of impropriety by this publication or any of our reporters are completely ridiculous."

The Bean Patch did confirm that part of their break was taken up in observing the passing of one of their premier contributors. On September 29th, highly lauded cultural observer Ajax apparently passed away at his home in Washington, DC. Ajax was always known as the silent, cerebral type and generally contributed to stories ranging from environmental and nature issues to occasional reports on food, exercise and sleep matters. He has made several special reports on canine medical issues and was a fellow at the ASPCA specializing in the protection of (rubber?) ducks. One of his more whimsical reports came on an in-depth exploration of the manufacture of facial tissues.

"The Bean Patch lost a true friend last week," the editor-in-chief remarked last night. "Ajax will be truly missed by all of us - readers and reporters alike. Still, the greatest tribute to him is for us to continue to report the news accurately and fairly. We've got a star's debut on which to report. Let's get back to work." Indeed, a host of Jellybean fans eagerly await.